They say “hope” is a good thing . Mother also told me that hope is everything , we all strive for better tomorrow , and only “hope” keeps us going .
I try to speak to people, but somehow words dont come out . The connect is lost between the thoughts and language . Sit for hours and days , and no one would talk . Some one i talked would say she talks the same shit , of love and her life, her sorrows and her condition . I never had the audacity to choose people. Couple of them who choose me, left me to suffer forever . Me being polite to welcome them , and they carrying a sword of self made thoughts and requirements to chop the innermost element in me.
The image I displayed on this blog are clicked by me. I somehow got convinced to photograph.
The yellow chair towards you is my chair, looking for one smile, one helping hand.
The other chair sits that way for years now.
i hope someday chairs would turn.
This is my first ever post interacting with the world. Tired many times through different mediums , failed.
Recently I read a blog of a bipolar superstar. I kept reading the chapter of the blogger again and again and could relate and feel every minute detail of it . I started having a hope within me. The writings and chapters made me rewind and forward the chapters of my life. I could stop any episode that occurred, live in there . Being there, in the very moment . Then move on to another moment , live it and again the other . expedite the roles i played.
As I continue to read, i realised that I for once , wasn’t alone. There are many who may somewhere relate to me .Life seems like its a speedo – meter.
Its been 12 years , or maybe more then that . I have been struggling to be with people and talk . Tried to make friends just like others, never succeeded. Yes i have mental sickness , they say bipolar. Got the know when i started to get attacks . Up until then just like everyone who is suffering , I too felt the same . It cant happen to me , i am very strong . But its happening . It has happened .
Just like the mystic blogger . I decided to write and share through this wonderful medium. It has taken a lot of courage to write this down too . I aint a good writer, I may convey my feelings. Even i dont , its still good . Atleast i am talking . Either to myself or rest . Who talks anyways now-a -days .